not yet zen

pass me my sunglasses please

2010-03-20T06:16:00.004+01:00

I just read the most incredible blog/rant against Japan! What's incredible about it is the length and the depth of negativity - even I can't rant that well.

What it made me aware of was that old sales pitch about so many people can't be wrong, you know; "20 billion people can't be wrong - eat red meat!" or this one about bowling.

So, this guy has been living in Japan for years and now hates so many things about it that he felt the necessity to vent his frustration and dislike (well done for doing it in writing and not any other way) - but what about the other 120+ million people who live there? The majority, I imagine, love it with the same fervour - just take a moment to check out my favourite Japanese bloggers Muza-chan - asia images - Gaijin Life

I understand him though, I really do; I had fantasized for 20 years about living in Italy; I loved everything Italian - the food, the language; the clothes; streetside cafés - you get the picture. Anyway, a few years ago my wife and I made the dream come true and for the first six months I thought I was in heaven on earth. The following six months; a hell I couldn't wait to leave!

What happened?

My mind came back from vacation, that's what happened!

Dreams and fantasies are just that; dreams and fantasies - the mind's way of going on vacation - taking a break from all the "real" stuff. Vacations/breaks are very important as anyone who never gets the chance to have one will tell you. It's that time when you can leave the stresses of your job behind; eat whatever you fancy; sleep as late as you want; forget about that neighbour who's always nagging at you. But for many, this only happens in their minds. For many, when they physically go on vacation their mind is on vacation somewhere else!

The reality of what's actually happening around us is sometimes less exotic than the place our mind can take us to. The sunglasses our mind packed are so dark that we don't see what's really happening around us. We don't notice that the people living in our vacation spot DO have to cope with the stresses of their jobs, CANNOT sleep late and DO have nagging neighbours! We don't mind so much that the line in the post office is so slow we could have done the grocery shopping in the time it takes to get to the window. We've got time and our sunglasses are so cool! How many vacations have you been on when you've thought how wonderful it would be to live there all the time?

Well, all the time is a different story if your not a native and have generations of built in sun-block! I love Japan and each time I've been there I've wanted to stay forever - but whilst I think the article I read was rather harsh, I understand where the emotions came from (I've seen the ticket stubs). That's not to say that we can't ever adapt to our new environment because some of us can, in some environments; we've just got to find the one we really feel at home in. Remember the story of the monk who searched everywhere for the truth of zen only to return, after years of searching, to the place where he started!

- seiun hosei joza

So righteous; so wrong, us!

2010-03-17T07:28:00.004+01:00

It's so easy to be righteous, isn't it?

Someone says something about someone that somehow makes us angry... or sad, or embarrassed or etc. etc., so we slam them in our gossiping at the water cooler, or in emails to the boss or...

Our feelings about the "something", someone said are just that; our feelings. No-one forced them upon us, no-one makes us feel the way we feel; it's entirely our doing! So we should look at ourselves first when we feel affronted. Admittedly, without this social construct we would fall irrevocably into chaos, but, perhaps we could try a little harder to make sure that our feelings are not for nothing! We all feel terrible about what happened in Tahiti and the like, and that's good because we leap into a collective action to help! BUT, there is of course the downside.

This "someone" posts "something" on the net; a blog, a tweet; and we jump into action to criticise, to condemn, to attack! OK so there are two sides to every story and everyone has the right to be "right" n'est ce pas? But why is it that negativity is so much more appealing to us? The story of a famous couple splitting, or a man's indiscretions, or a film failing at the Oscars, or someone's opinion that doesn't tally with ours?

There's someone I know who scours the net for information about his work colleagues so that he can use it against them to advance his sorry little life. Just another free-loader sucking on the breast of society's inexorable thirst for negativity; a low life that only exists through others' hard work and dedication and waits for them to make a mistake; a self-centred little parrasite that needs validation - I hope he's reading this! I know who you are and your worm friends who propigate your negativity. Take a close look inside and think about what values you bring to the world; this world that's falling apart around our ears - Oh! And don't forget your fiddle!

- seiun hosei joza

who moved my zafu 座蒲 ?

2010-03-14T08:39:00.008+01:00

Oh how we hang on to things - talk about "who moved my cheese" - indeed.

So many people I've worked with or studied with, desperately try to protect and hide what they have or know and they get terribly jealous if someone else has a similar idea/plan/goal/ etc. etc. "Incredible" you cry out, justifiably, "isn't buddhism about letting go?". Oh yes - it is, but how few of the practitioners of today actually achieve this. How few can truly drop off body and mind (shinjin datsuraku) ; detach themselves from possession - and remember, thoughts are possessions also.

Why oh why, do so many people feel the need to hide what they've gathered or only share it with a chosen few? Instead of hanging on to stuff, what if we let it go?' Once we've attained something, it has been attained. Why then, do we insist on hanging on to it? Maybe someone else out there would like to have a go!

Joshu was asked,

"When a man comes to you with nothing, what do you say to him?"

Joshu replied, "Throw it away!"

A close friend and mentor told me; when you catch the fish, throw away the net; when you've understood the sense, throw away the words!

晴雲法声 seiun hosei _/|\_

If ifs and ands...

2010-02-03T05:19:00.007+01:00

Understanding people and why they do certain things is, I admit, not easy. Sometimes we think we've figured it out and then Bam! the world turns upside down and we're not sure anymore. If we put a positive bent on this, it might be to say that the unpredictability of people is what makes life so interesting! If! But, if ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers..right?

I've recently heard of a number of cases were the human behaviour demonstrated by work colleagues, has left me scratching my head. Did we, my contemporaries and I, behave this way when we were 25/30? Did our work colleagues scratch their heads at our Shenanigans? I hear myself, it's true, saying things in discussions with friends, and I hear my father! So, it must be a thing of generations and their differences no? But even if it were, because I'm still not fully convinced, is that an excuse? Why do we have to accept that "she does things that way" or "he's just like that" or " don't sweat it, all kids are like that these days". Ok! but WHY are they like that these days? Are we so wrapped up in ourselves and our 180cm-plasma worlds that we can't smell the roses anymore? And who the heck started this trend that you can't tell someone that they're not doing a good job? Good heavens people, where did your values disappear to? When did we lose the plot? There's no deadman's handle on this train!

It's much easier isn't it, to just lock ourselves up in our cocoons and do whatever possible to not allow the outside world in. To not rock the boat; make waves; waken the sleeping dog! We've become so distanced from our values that we can't see them anymore and have replaced them with lethargy and a cathartic numbness to what's happening around us. I'm always reminded of the story of the frog in a pan of water that is gradually heated...if you don't know it, it's worth a read.

Well, I'm sorry, I don't agree with this "never say no" attitude and I don't want to accept that "that's just the way it is"!

On our travels, we have experienced peoples and places that are so vastly diverse and culturally contradictory that we are in wonderment at the complexity of the human being. What makes one country and its people more respectful of elders than others for example? What is it that gives certain peoples the belief that they, and only they, have understood how things should be and that they are justified in punishing those who have not, for another? What indeed?!

I'm not going to bore you, and probably myself, with a list of what's "not right" with the world today; our polititians do that for us everytime they open their mouths, no, but I am going to say, that if you have similar feelings of frustration and forboding, there is a Shangri-La out there...

...somewhere!...

...and if you find it, would you be kind enough to let me know where it is?

晴雲法声 seiun hosei _/|\_

agreeing disagreeing being being

2010-01-26T14:16:00.003+01:00

Watching some YouTube this morning, I did something I haven't done before and read some of the comments under the videos. What astounded me was the diversity of the comments, ranging from "awesome" to "this sucks" and worse. Ecstatically for and fanatically against - the same clip!

What struck me immediately was that no matter how popular someone or something is, there are as many people who will hate it, and hate it with a vehemence! My wife and I are on opposite sides of this fence concerning certain films... Why though, I wonder, if we don't agree with someone's opinion or ideas do we have to resort to insults, shouting, and threats? I guess that's just the way we are. If someone says they agree with us, we feel validated. Our opinion or belief is obviously right/correct because there is someone else who feels the same - very nice, yeah? Buuuut..., what about when someone doesn't agree with us? Well that's when we lose control and even feel the need to hurt; verbally and/or physically.

There will always be people who don't like us, no matter how hard we try to please them - this goes for family, friends, and colleagues as well as people who've never even met us. We can't change them, we can't reason with them, as much as we may try, so the only way to deal with this situation is to accept that we will never please everyone and be happy with the ones we do.

Accept that everyone has the right to their own beliefs and opinions and that if they shout and scream at us it's not personal - Oh! they'll try and make it personal if we continue to disagree and especially if we argue back, but we all have the option to walk away.

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

...just before we froze to death!

2010-01-20T06:36:00.002+01:00

December 2009, somewhere in Europe.

We sat in a cold cold hall, waiting, waiting, endlessly waiting for "him".

In the meantime, Heidi and Friedric (not their real names), showed us videos of previous retreats and spoke to us in hushed tones about how fabulous it was to be there and how incredible it would be when "he" arrived.

(video of "him"): "Did I tell you the story of when I was on the Concord?"

We suffered this drivel and poor quality videos for almost 2 freezing days with all the doors and windows open (we had paid to listen to his teachings from day one, not, from day 3)! "He likes it to be cool" gushed Friederick. OK, but "he" is not even here and this is definately not cool; you could conserve your milk and butter in here!

"When will he arrive?" I temerously asked one of the "badged" helpers. "It could be in 20 minutes, or 3 hours or tomorrow; we never know." he answered as if this added to the mysticism. I looked closely at his eyes but couldn't see the wool.

FINALLY after 2 freezing days and a fire in the hotel, "he" appeared. "I'm not really here" he jested, "I'm only an illusion" he jested. Is he actually a jester? Have I booked us into the wrong gig? "But I may come tomorrow" WHAT? We have to wait again, and you MAY come? "In the meantime, did I tell you the story of when I was on the Concord?"

The next day, after my wife and I had a lovely walk in the surrounding forrest rather that sit freezing our butts off in the main hall listening to the droning platitudes and mindnumbingly brainwashed adulation of our two inductees, there was word that "he" would appear! Yay! So we put on a third layer of clothes, our hats and gloves, and then barefooted, took our places on the pre-frozen plastic chairs.

"Precious one" drooled Heidi, "Martin from xxx just wanted to say that your arrival yesterday made him feel that the universe was finally at peace" Oh-oh! "Suzy from yyy said that just your presence made her reach enlightenment!" NO! Please!

"Did I tell you the story of when I was on the Concord?"

Time to leave...

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

Master? Of what?

2010-01-20T05:36:00.002+01:00

"Zen Master"

This expression surely conjures up an image in our minds; probably an image influenced by Hollywood and the popular press! One of a mystical figure, all-knowledgeable, all-understanding; a being who has transcended our worldly shackles and has the answers to everything!

Well ... that's Hollywood!

The real reality in my experience is quite different. These people (men & women) calling themselves "master" are far from being mystical, and far from being masters of anything other perhaps than deception (their own as well as ours). They are for the best part just as deeply routed in jealousy, hatred and greed as the rest of us mortals. What's that? You don't want to read that? Then please stop reading and leave.

I have seen numerous people who, admittedly, don't say out loud "I'm a zen master" but they do all give themselves the title "Master" or " Mâitre". There are also a plethora of them on the Internet writing all kinds of rubbish about what they are doing and what books they have sold recently or in what country they have just been giving groups of innocent people a "talk" about some subject or other. Not yet "zen" all that.

Some, openly criticize and bicker with each other on the Internet in their blogs or on their websites! (links to this are somewhere on this blog site) Not yet "zen" all that.

But then I'm sure it's me who has misunderstood, after all I'm NOT a master: I think zen (soto) is a branch of Buddhism were one uses seated meditation as a means to hopefully attain elightenment gradually. "Not so" they seem to be saying! Zen seems to be about having more followers than the other guy, or having more TV appearances or even, more books published than the other guy. On a smaller scale, zen is about isolating themselves and their little sanghas from the other little sanghas in the area and not communicating with each other. It's about complaining that the people in the sangha down the road have stolen their ideas or followers! About who THEY studied with and why the guy the others studied with is not worthy.

Does all of this sound like something we know? Yes, that's right folks; this is business as usual in the world of phenomena; this is exactly what we are trying to free ourselves from. This is the same crap we are fed every evening on our TV in the insidiously mind-numbing reality shows and soporific weekly series we follow avidely because something "juicy" might happen.

The image of a mystical all-knowing sage is just that - an image. It has been conjured up by the media to sell stuff. We are intrigued by people who have "powers" and real or false we don't seem to care. The Uri Gellers of the world have and will always exist to enthrall and entertain us, as will the George Bush's of the world; people who are so obviously inept and preposterous BUT we follow them anyway! What's that all about? Are we so lethargic that we would rather have a "fake" making our decisions than have to do it ourselves?

Come on people, snap out of it for goodness sake. Wake up! We only have one go at this! Don't let these charlatains and snake-oil salesmen run our dojos and sell us their books of platitudes and regurgitated new-wave babbling! Remember the old adedge; "Those who are not good at it, talk about it. Those who are good at it, don't talk about it!"

There are some really great teachers out there (somewhere) but most of them have passed and those still alive don't write books or appear on TV - our legacy is their teachings recorded and published for us in book format, but actually getting to sit with one...

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

No more Mr. nice monk

2010-01-19T19:54:00.002+01:00

Is it right that we have to lower our expectations to zero? Do you all think it's OK that people attain their level of incompetance?

In the restaurant at lunchtime today, the surly waiter spoke to us as if we had just stomped in from the farm still with manure on our shoes. The service continued at this lofty altitude until the final insult of an inflated bill and his fawning profuse thankyous as he drooled honey on us hoping for a tip! You've gotta be kinding me!

In the supermarket afterwards the check out girl spat venom at me because I hadn't put that little divider thingy in front of my lettuce and carrots. I understand that their job is a highly complex mixture of mathmatics and motor-muscular dexterity so it must be almost impossible to push that heavy aluminium divider the entire 30cm-length of the checkout so that a customer can use it!

Last week I had asked my website hosting company to cancel 3 of the 4 email addresses we have with them; both in writing and then by phone when they called to asked me to confirm what I had written. So far so good you're thinking, well not so fast there! This morning they emailed me to say that as per my email and our phone conversation they had cancelled 1 email address and had left the other 3! I'm not kidding!

I called the developer of the salary program we use to pay our teachers. The program crashes each time we send a PDF salary sheet to a teacher. "Oh! That's not right." (ya think?) "I'll look into it." that was 4 months ago and I still have to relaunch the programme after each PDF sent because they've done NOTHING!

There is a saying (as they say) "remain zen". Well I am zen, I'm an ordained zen monk. I have sat on my zafu for hours everyday for the last 20 years and I will remain ... Zen, BUT ... why do we have to accept the incompetance and downright I-don't-give-a-shit-ness of the plethora of idiots around us? With global unemoyment reaching the heights it has, why are these people not fired, (or better still made to endure the experience of being their own customer)? There are literally millions of people who are desperate for a job and who do have professional integrity and we have to put up with these idiots? Don't tell me to stay zen (reston zen), get off your over-fed, over-indulged fat asses and do a decent days work for the first time in your life or we'll give your job to someone else!

I think that my inner calm and beliefs should not stop me from saying things the way I see them, so, from now on - I will.

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

raging against the machine

2009-12-29T20:08:00.001+01:00

It's not about WHAT you say, it's about the way you say it.

Recently, one Saturday afternoon, my wife and I found ourselves surrounded by anti-globalization demonstrators who were throwing stones and setting cars alight! True, on my mother's head! Now, we understand what they're upset about but we're not too keen on the way they're voicing it and neither were the hardworking shopkeepers who had their windows smashed!

Can we just take a moment and think this one through?

There are not enough jobs.
The big companies own everything.
We don't get paid enough.
There's not enough food for the poor.
There are too many poor.
I don't have a villa in France and a BMW.
The big 8 (or is it 20 now?) must stop buying up and controlling everything.
We want to eat strawberries in December.

Wait! Back up. What was that last one? Strawberries in December! What's that got to do with globalization and the price of fish?

Well! I'll tell you.

If we're all so keen on having our favourite fruits when we want them, or buy flowers for our girlfriends/mothers/lovers anytime of the year, or that gen-u-ine baseball cap we wear to cover our faces when out torching the 4x4's; well, someone has to produce them! And, because there are so many of us wanting these anachronistic, non-indigenous items; that same someone has to produce loads of them.

Do you see were I'm going with this yet? (Probably NOT, if your too busy out there ruining the livelyhoods of inocent small-business owners whose stores just happen to be on the route of your latest rage against the machine - or if words of more than two syllables are challenging for you)!

So next time, as your packing your homemade incendiaries in your imported rucksack and tying the shoelaces of your branded sports-shoe made by children in Asia (assuming you can perform these motor-skills by yourself) take a second to reflect on the fact that if we lived with the seasons and with the healthier local produce of our hard-working under-subsidized farmers, there wouldn't be any globalizing fat cats for us to throw rocks at!

Eat local - buy local - don't be loco!

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

Wabi Sabi baby

2009-12-27T22:02:00.002+01:00

Commercialism for commercialism, Buddhism for Buddhism, I'd rather be in Japan.

Wherever I've been to study Buddhism, so far at least, there has always been some kind of commercial venture connected to the supposedly spiritual experience. I'm not criticising you understand, it's just an observation. Of course it's normal than when people travel a long way to study with one master or another, they would like to take home some souvenir of the event. It's very similar to rock concerts; you pay to see the band and then you buy all the anciliary crap being sold outside the venue to take home and never wear or listen to again. That's just how we are; buoyed up by the warm afterglow of a rocking hard concert and with the last song still ringing in our ears, (in some cases like mine this can go on and on for years and leave the eardrums permanently damaged and ringing) we trot off to the zen boutique, or the Rigpa store to buy our dingly danglies in a vain attemp to perpetuate the feeling. But alas, when we get home, these things are placed lovingly next to Buddha or draped around the neck of Kanon, until eventually, they meld in with all the other "stuff".

So, if I'm going to do this, and I know I am, I'd rather it be stuff from Japan for its esthetic beauty and its draconian simplicity.

Wabi Sabi baby!

晴雲法声 seiun hosei

Travelling & discovering

2009-12-27T11:00:00.001+01:00

Travelling is such sweet pain!

Here we are in Geneva airport waiting to fly to Germany for a week's retreat with Sogyal Rinpoche. We've just paid CHF28.00 for 2 sandwiches, 2 coffees, and 2 bottles of water! Here's what the only free table to sit at looked like when we arrived...

...and here's how "clean" it was...

"That's right folks, don't touch that dial." This is Switzerland! Land of precision watches (and trains), chocolate, banking, ski slopes, and ordered tidyness - mmmmmh, not in this airport!

Whilst we wait for the delayed flight from Frankfurt, we thought we'd read the Sunday paper to pass the time - 2 newsagents later we still don't have one because they've sold out! I'm talking about the only French speaking newspaper published on a Sunday (today) in the French speaking part of Switzerland (where Geneva is situated just in case you're not sure) and you can't get one!

We are surrounded by people, most of whom are British, and most of whom are wearing big fur aprés-ski boots. I know I said the service here is increasingly poor but as yet it still doesn't snow INSIDE the building!

I blogged at about this date last year as my wife and I travelled to Nice and how nervous everyone was then. Well, it hasn't gotten any better. In fact what has gotten worse is everything "around" the travelling experience. The airport has been recently "improved" - actually what that means is that they have somehow squeezed an extra row of shops into the main concourse so that now you have even more opprtunity to buy seriously overpriced rubbish you'll never use again whilst being stuck behind an overweight mother and her three screaming and unruly children because the corridors are now reduced to the width of an anorexic cat-walk model.

Travelling is such sweet pain and whilst the illuminated amongst us know that the journey IS as important as the destination, they probably haven't flown Air France or tried to buy a Sunday newspaper in Geneva.

- seiun hosei joza

Feeding Greed - a major pastime

2009-12-26T01:00:00.008+01:00

So this is Christmas!

I haven't been on for a while and now, in the late evening of Christmas day, I have a strange feeling of forebodance which urges me to write. A feeling born, I'm certain, out of nothing in particular but more from something general and omni-present.

2009 has been a very tough year for many of us and the troubles are not over yet. Our world is in a seriously sick state despite the wonderful things being achieved by some world leaders for care in this time of ill health. Unfortunately, greed is not only ever-present but growing stronger every day as per its nature and, here in the west at any rate, we are fueling its needs like never before!

I'm not going to bang on about the commercialism of Christmas and how its real meaning has been forgotten because that's a very prickly thorn and grasping it without adequate protection could be very painful indeed. Suffice it to say that it was always designed to get the masses doing the bidding of it's "inventors", so, actually, it is fulfilling its raison-d'être very nicely thank you!

Here we are, in spite of the dramatic financial climate and spiritual drought, out there buying things we don't need with money we don't have for people who don't want them, and all of this without as much as an umbrella. There are already a plethora of bleeding hearts out there whinging about social rights and freeing recidevists to carry out their destiny of ruining those of others. I won't enumerate nor name them here and, if you don't know what I'm talking about, it doesn't really matter. What does, is that we are buying ourselves into oblivion and casually drinking coffee with friends as we do it; numb to the fact that it is actually ourselves we are consuming. Our bodies, our minds, our environement and our entire planet are being fed to the greed-machine that is the western psyche of today. Where is the great dietician, the personal trainer, who can get us to consume less and slim down before we either eat our planet into extinction or get so fat we knock it off its axis? Where is the Florence Nightingale who can nurse us back to health before it's too late? But then wait, I'm forgetting in my naïveté that greed doesn't think it needs healing; it feels fine gorging incessantly thank you very much! The more we eat, the more we're hungry and, this is the sad part, the more we will do anyhing and eat anything to satisfy this desire.

Greed lives, greed grows, greed conquers all, greed rules! Take a look at yourself; are you greedy? Could you do with losing a few pounds, eat a bit less, buy a bit less, waste a bit less?

More, more, waste, waste, buy, buy, bye, bye.

- seiun hosei joza _/|\_

Leaves fall - that's natural!

2009-11-30T06:20:00.000+01:00

So the leaves are falling! Well they usually do around this time of year but THIS year they have hung on longer than usual. The weather has been unseasonably mild and the life-force even stronger than usual. The inevitable is inevitable but that doesn't stop us from hanging on like "grim death" - what an unusual saying; life hanging on like death!

Oh! how we hang on to things, any "thing"; possesions, feelings, fears even! Yes, even our fear of something must remain "ours"; it's our fear of flying or of small places, or of maybe having an attack of fear about being affraid! Hanging on somehow makes us comfortable, even if that means feeling comfortable about being uncomfortable! As long as we can identify these feelings as being "ours", we are OK.

Our ability to hang onto life no matter what; our desire to continue to live against all odds like the trees around me now, is why we are the dominent animal on this watery planet, but...

Couldn't we do things a little differently comme mème? Couldn't we learn to let go of some things? Do we really need to hang on to anger, greed, jealousy, and our ignorance of how our neighbour feels or in what they believe?

"Difficult", you say, "that's how we're made", you repeat like a mantra (hanging on to our platitudes). Well, NO, that's not how we're made but I believe for most of us that it is difficult. However, we must try to return to how we WERE made; return to our original self; our original nature without predjudice and with just enough fear to keep us safe from any "real" dangers and not those we create in our heads! Sometimes our leaves need to fall, it's natural and after all, they're not really ours anyway, but simply lent to us for a while. Hanging on to stuff just increases our fears; fears that things are changing, and, we don't like that! But nothing is more natural, nothing is more "true" than that everything changes - stop hanging on!

- seiun hosei joza

Negative/Positive

2009-11-01T18:31:00.001+01:00

I've just has one of those days when you say; "you wouldn't believe the day I've had!" - and you wouldn't, trust me. So bad I'm not even going to bore you with the details!

But...in boring my wife with the details she said to me " Well it's over now and you'll never have to live it again." How wise is that?

Bad days, bad weeks, bad months, bad years - once they're over, they're over! Ooof! But that's not the problem is it? The problem is staying positive as we are living through these bad times. Buddha taught us that ignorance of our true self is the root of our suffering and that the root of our ignorance is our mind's habitual tendancy to distraction. Always looking for something to do, to fill the quiet moments; making sure it is never on it's own! To calm this habitual tendancy we need to bring the mind to it's natural place, it's home. The best. way to do this is through meditation, but, beware!

When we face 'ourselves', when we momentarily remove all the distraction and noise, all the visual and auditory stimuli, we are left with ourselves! Attention, this can be a frightening experience! To paraphrase Sogyal Rinpoche; for the most part, we waste our lives, we fritter/twitter it away with banalities and our constant desire to be distracted and entertained. So, when we sit quietly and all those distractions cease, all we're left with is what we have in our heads. For some people this is enlightening, for most; a challenge and for a very few amongst us it can prove to be too much to take. Please sit meditation with a group, a master if posible, but at least a friend until you're ready to try it on your own. Allow all the noise of our daily lives to slowly quieten down and alow your thoughts to carry on on their way; don't hang on to them, don't try to figure them out. Eventually, negativity in your thoughts will diminish; negativity in your life will diminish.

- seiun hosei joza

Family and earthworms

2009-10-26T08:17:00.000+01:00

So,... the family is here!

Recently there have been a number of reports about how the 'family unit' was/is an invention of 1950's-marketing from the US and that in reality it doesn't exist - just like Santa Claus! The latter, an incredibly succesful marketing idea of a 'soft-drinks' company is nevertheless, based on some solid history, as, I suspect, is the idea of a family unit.

What I am SURE of, is that this loud, vibrant, intoxicating and all-consuming bunch of people who came to our house this weekend are the most wonderful gift life can give us today. Yes! they have taken over! Yes! we are out of our comfort zone! Yes! in one sitting they will consume more than my wife and I would in a week, and No! I no longer have possesion of the TV remote! But...

The love, the caring, the unconditional acceptance that you are 'one of us', that you 'belong', is, well, just overwhelming! I wouldn't give this up for anything in the world! Buddha renounced his family; his young wife, his new-born son, his doting father and his closest friend, but that was Buddha and we are all better for what he did. Me, I'm still getting the hang of this; I'm still learning about sacrifice and detachment, about living and dying, about letting go. I'm not ready. This may be a failing in my Buddhist advancement; in my journey toward enlightenment, but...and it's a big BUT, as a Boddhisattva, am I not supposed to renounce my own salvation from the endless cycle of suffering until I've helped EVERY single person pass over to the other shore? Yes of course I am, that's what it's about and therefore whether or not I'm a good Buddhist has to take a back seat for the moment; I have some work to do and I could not start in a better place than by observing how this unit we call "family", functions. They love, care, share, confide, comfort, encourage, protect, teach, give, give, and give. "Not mine!" I hear some of you say, and yes, that too is a reality but for now, I'm observing and commenting on my family.

What is it about us that makes us fight and war against each other because of perceived differences? Maybe our "perceptions" have just gotten stronger and stronger over the millenia and in fact we are deepining the need to show we are different rather than trying to improve our understanding that in fact we are all the same. Hate, anger, and jealousy are so much more interesting as emotions aren't they? They "fuel", they "nourish", just like a fast food restaurant does; unfortunately the result on our mental health is also similar! Watch however a group of people that love each other, interact. Watch how they think about the other one first; put their needs on hold until their loved one is "OK". Then, think about it; about how their effort in doing this was just as easy as the effort you expend in hating someone; in fact it's much less, it's liberating, it's the Buddha way! Can't we all just try it for a while? See how it feels? See that we all would be much better off and that laying claim to a piece of soil-and-rocks, that doesn't actually "belong" to any of us anyway, is a useless waste of time and energy; we'll all be under that same soil-and-rocks one day and the earthworm is not discriminating; they'll eat anyone no matter what colour or religion.

If you are priviledged enough to be in a family like mine, please remember that not everyone is and that you could go a long way to help those around you by passing on a little of your joy!

- seiun hosei joza _/|\_

Vines

2009-10-12T13:19:00.003+02:00

Autumn really is taking hold of things now; the sky is lower, the quality of light is changing, the vines have just about finished their cycle.

We are so like those vines don't you think? We grow from something small and almost insignificant to get stronger and take shape. Some, straighter than others, some taller, but nevertheless all with the same 'raison d'être'.

Then we learn from other vines around us how to "be" and we do our best to copy and maybe even, "improve" on their example. Wow - how wrapped up in ourselves we are at this time, TRYING to be "something"!

Next we work hard to produce something valuable and, the more or bigger we produce our something, the more valid we believe we are. "I'm a vine and I produce grapes, in fact, that's what I am; a grape-maker." - not just a vine!

Some of us even believe that because we are a "grape-maker" from a certain country that we make grapes better than vines from any other country! Some countries even go to great lengths to convince it's vines of this and that they are even better than vines in any other grape-making country in the world! "Be proud!" we're told, "You're the best in the world."

Some of us are, by nature, a different colour than the vines around us and we tend to judge them and praise ourselves because of that fact. But, what we produce is consumed and excreted away just the same as what is produced by others.

Then finally, when our producing days are over we are stripped of all our worth and allowed to die in winter. However, life is not linear; this is not the end of a straight line. No, after dying we lie dormant for a little while and then we grow and start again; a new circle of existance, a new chance to do better. Maybe bigger grapes this time or maybe more grapes or, just maybe, we could be like the vines I see here on the hills around me and just "be" vines. Just do what we do without pomp and circumstance, without effort or prejudice, just, be vines.

We are no better or worse than anyone else; we are all born into samsara and we all have the ability to stop the cycle of birth and rebirth but, whilst we are driven by greed, anger, and ignorance, we will just keep returning to bare fruit for someone else's profit, and suffering in the harsh world we are born to.

Until we learn that we are not different from others, that we are ALL the same, our lives will continue to be cyclic and the wine we produce somewhat sour!

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

break down the walls

2009-10-08T19:33:00.005+02:00

Where ARE we going on this little blue planet of ours?

A lovely friend of mine describes herself as "Like a butterfly in a bottle"; flapping, turning, always bumping into the glass walls and bruising her wings. Locked in a corporate machine that pays no more attention to her than a little boy with his prey in a jam jar, she is running out of air. She has been loyal, hard-working and dedicated but none of that seems to count as now they leave her dangling; waiting for the faceless fat-cats to decide her future!

The jar of course, is in her head and she herself was the glass-blower but, she knows this. We all construct some kind of 'wall' around ourselves, initially maybe, to protect ourselves from the harsh exterior world we live in. However, eventually it also becomes the thing which locks us "in" with seemingly no escape. We have to stop "building", let's break a few things down instead. Our minds are like water in a glass; contained in a finite area. However, if we break the glass, the water can go wherever it would like to and without being diminished! It has the same volume, the same clarity, the same quality! Free of constraint, free to experience whatever it desires. Break down the walls, break the control our minds have over us, break the cycle of suffering.

Sit zazen, allow your mind to go wherever it wants; allow it to be free. Don't 'fix' on thoughts and ideas - don't build walls that may become your own prison.

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

Holes, hearts, healing!

2009-10-08T18:51:00.003+02:00

I met a wonderful little girl from Bolivia yesterday; full of life, smiles, laughter and mischief. She came here 4 years ago because of holes in her heart and now after a fabulously successful operation she comes back from time to time for a check up. Life, at once fleetingly precarious now seems in full bloom.

Her 'joie de vivre' is infectious and made me think about how much time we can waste worrying about things that don't exist and, even if they do, that worrying changes absolutely nothing!

_/|\_ - seiun hosei joza

Try again.

2009-10-05T11:08:00.005+02:00

Another busy week last week and again full of emotions and experiences; one moment in control, the next not! But! Why do we feel we need to be in control? I believe in what the Tibetans say: "we grasp at everything vainly trying to put off the moment of death."

Oh yes, grasp, grasp, mine , mine, don't invade my space, why are you touching my things? "Who moved my cheese?"

I was talking to the owner of a Shiatsu school yesterday who told me about the world of Shiatsu-teaching and the lack of communication and sharing within them. Admitedly, I started the discussion by mentioning my frustration at the constant bickering in the zen community which is still prevellant. What is it about us humans that even when we decide to try to "offer" some understanding and/or compassion or comfort that we nevertheless feel it necessary to try to distinguish our "offer" as better or more valid that someone else's! Does it really matter what our lineage is? or, whose method/teaching we follow? Isn't it simply enough that we want to "help"? Does the "receiver" care who taught us or what our beliefs and convictions are as long as they feel benefitted by our actions? NO! of course they don't!

If a person enters your dojo seeking guidance, comfort, understanding, perhaps even a little compassion, do you ask them who their parents are, or who they work for, or what diplomas they have? Based on their answers, do you then decide if you will help them or not? Well, if you do, you're not a Buddhist! You do not have universal compassion. And, to my Dharma brothers and sisters; you are not respecting your 4 vows of a Bodhisattva. TRY AGAIN.

If I can, in any way, bring a little compassion or healing into someone's life by sitting zazen, laying of hands, or simply listening to them, then I am going someway toward honoring my vows.

_/|\_ - seiun hosei joza

Level of suffering...

2009-10-01T00:19:00.001+02:00

I was told today about a presentation given yesterday at the UN here in Geneva by a man who was imprisoned and tortured for 13 years in Argentina!

My reflections:
What do I have to complain about? I've never known this level of suffering and hope never to! For me, this really puts things into perspective; why am I so wrapped up by the fact that someone was short with me on the phone today - boo hoo! Get over yourself and get on with it!

What keeps a man alive that long under such atrocious conditions? Apparently, the un-ending desire to expose to the world what terrible acts of horror these awful people performed! How can some of us turn out kind and loving and some of us hateful and nasty?

Is it true that we only have the level of suffering that we can handle? Does life really work that way? Do we continue to accumulate bad kharma until we reach the level of our potential to handle the consequences? This seems a rather dangerous equation and I prefer not to ponder it, especially as I have dear friends and lovely family members who have endured much and they don't have a bad bone in their bodies!

_/|\_ - seiun hosei joza

Does a dog?

2009-09-30T23:03:00.001+02:00

I saw a beautful black labrador dog-for-the-blind on the bus this morning. how devoted they are! how peaceful and fulfilled; at the service of someone less fortunate than the rest of us; someone who needs them and is fulfilled by them. they're happy with so little, or maybe actually it's so much! they have a purpose and their love is unconditional! everyone is the same for them - black, white, yellow, they don't care, the love all of us.

do you really need to ask "does a dog have the Buddha-nature?" ?

we could all learn something from watching them.

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

Fighting the horn-ed ones

2009-09-29T21:49:00.002+02:00

today I had to go head-to-head with the horn-ed ones, the denizens of the commercial world, the bottom-feeders of our lowest realms, the Dantean grubby low-lifes; the bank and it's myriad small-minded minions!

pressuring me now for weeks by pretending not to see the truth, they closed ranks and came at me from all sides like Mara's flights of arrows. I began to react but instead, sat back, removed all useless emotion and poof! they were gone!

it's so important to realize that when we let emotion enter into a situation, we are no longer in control! other external things govern the outcome, we change nothing, and if we do, it's only for the worst!

easy to say but hard to do, you say easily. saying what's hard and doing what's easy might just be the very thing you think is not!?!? hard and easy are the same thing, it's just your mind that changes it's viewing aspect.

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

emotion!

2009-09-28T22:12:00.001+02:00

"Take your emotion out of the equation!"

is it as easy as that?

actually, yes it is! our emotions just get in the way and cloud our judgement. try pretending you are someone else; someone not involved in the situation, and ask yourself what would you do. what is the goal? what would you like to achieve? how would you achieve it normally, without the emotion?

that's what you should do.

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

grow a pair

2009-09-28T05:25:00.004+02:00

"we'll work something out" he said, placating the distraught woman.

I say, this is not enough; it's only putting off the problem until later and hoping it will go away. I read an article today about the number of people in therapy because they're in a relationship or a job which they don't like but feel powerless to change. how many of us are on a similar situation? too many I think!

I have also felt recently that certain aspects of my life were being decided/controlled/hindered by outside factors; "they won't like it if I change that, so I shouldn't", "if I do that, it will affect someone else, so I can't' etc. etc. - social integrity and hundreds of years of peer-pressure mold our actions so that they are "acceptable" - but to whom?

let's not 'work something out later'; let's work it our now! if you don't like your situation, either change your mindset toward it or recycle yourself! "oh it's easy for you to say" I hear you shouting, "but it's not easy to do" - well, isn't that the crux of it all? it's only acceptable/palatable if it's "easy"! well, if it's the easy but not-what-I-want option you have chosen, then stop whining about your sort! you're the one allowing choices you've made to govern your life. grow a pair and change what you don't like and if those around you don't like it, well, they'll just have to grow a pair also!

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

angels?...we all have at least one...

2009-09-26T23:27:00.004+02:00

just like the story of the monk who searched for the meaning of zen "everywhere" before returning home to realize that's where it was all the time - I was awakened to my inner self today by the person who means more to me than anything and to whom I was not being particularly attentive.

the "real" strength in some people is their ability to allow you to be yourself without you feeling you were being guided or manipulated - who show you the path without pointing - who awaken you without shaking! some people call them angels - i call her my wife!

_/|\_ seiun hosei joza

perspective

2009-09-13T21:36:00.004+02:00

we bought some little knick-knacks in Tokyo as souvenirs for our family - they cost nothing but the reaction from our family members was fantastic. they were so happy that we really felt we should have done more!

what's small for us may be big for ot

hers, what's a problem for us, may be everyday for others. our perspective is very individual but the object of our scrutiny doesn't change - things are what they are, not what we think they are...

demons, demons, demons...

2009-09-13T17:59:00.005+02:00

i'm concerned about someone near me that i love very much and is "preoccupied" with something they don't want to talk about!

how can we help our loved ones when they're worried? do we pretend not to notice? do we push them in a certain direction?

demons are around us all the time - (we must drink tea with mara everyday) - some are louder than others but ALL are only illusion! give love, give love, give love...

progressing to the past!

2009-01-14T21:41:00.013+01:00

what rubbish i've been reading recently; so called zen teachers/masters are writing mystical psycho-babble, and others are slating each other in their blogs!

what's sad, if the above wasn't enough, is that tens of thousands of genuine people follow these guys! where are the true teachers? where are the real masters? i know they're out there somewhere?

there's so much ego out there you could make an omelette. das Über-Ich is firmly represented in our zen community - now aren't we supposed to be getting rid of that, or did i read the wrong books?

...bits of autumn...

2008-12-25T16:30:00.008+01:00

we have friends who live their lives quite differently from each other and never tire of criticizing the other's choice

green mountains are green mountains, white clouds are white clouds

one seemingly immovable, the other seemingly in perpetual motion - however, one moves in harmony with its environment! shouldn't we be trying this rather than criticizing?

"A person of the Way fundamentally does not dwell anywhere. The white clouds are fascinated with the green mountain's foundation. the bright moon cherishes being carried along with the flowing water. The clouds part and the mountains appear. The moon sets and the water is cool. Each bit of autumn contains vast interpenetration without bounds." - Hongzhi Zhengji 1091-1157, Chinese Chan Master

Calligraphy: White Clouds by Seki Rozan 1865 - 1944
White Clouds of Themselves Go and Come
The first half of this well-known Zen phrase is "Green Mountains Originally Don't Move." There is a contrast (and harmony) between the eternally unmoving mountains and the constantly changing clouds. Also, our ephemeral lives are like the white clouds, coming and going, here and there, nowhere to settle down-and that is fine, just the way things are.

flying (rushing) away from stress

2008-12-25T15:49:00.004+01:00

sitting in an airport, I watched all my fellow travelers impatiently waiting for the delayed flight to arrive. we always seem to be in a hurry to get somewhere else! we rush onto the plane, which has "finally" arrived in order to get seats closest to the front to be able to rush off again at destination.

what happens to this time that we are thinking about being somewhere else - does this "rushing" around heighten our enjoyment of being at destination or diminish our enjoyment of "being" where we are? can we get it back again and add it onto the end of our lives?

NO!

destination, journey - I see on the net that the debate continues but, as buddhists, we know that that is only dualistic thinking - the destination and the journey are the same thing - enjoy them/it and remember that the time you spend wishing away, cannot be retrieved!

"thoughts" on devil-grass

2008-12-25T15:21:00.004+01:00

our mind is like soil - if it is fertile but unattended or without "purpose", weeds (demons) will abound. if however, we plant seeds (positivity) and attend to it (zazen), the weeds cannot brow and the soil has "purpose".

soil which is infertile, will have neither weeds nor purpose and will therefore go through time achieving nothing - admittedly this soil may be considered lucky because of the absence of "demons", however whether or not this is a good thing, I don't know - YET!

horse sh.. is better than bull s...

2008-10-27T15:28:00.009+01:00

yesterday i was walking in the forest and i stepped in a large pile of horse droppings! i reacted, as most of us would, but as i walked on i reflected on where i could have been on this lovely sunny autumn sunday - in the centre of town paying too much for a coffee, being smoked on, and listening to all the yuppie bs, but, no, i was much better off in the clean air, exercising my ever aging body and heart.

horse s... is so much better than bull s...

get out there, tread in some authentic stuff, leave the bs behind - help yourself - help others - all creatures have the buddha nature

anger, greed, delusion/ignorance

2008-10-24T23:47:00.009+02:00

the 3 poisons - oh how they accompany me still!

today i received an email to which my initial reaction was visceral - i got angry because someone had done something with which i didn't agree and was asking me to pay for it (greed) - "what?" was my reaction, "you must be joking?".
after talking it through with the person involved i found out that it had not been their idea (delusion/ignorance) but that they had been cajoled into it!

why did i have such an immediate and unnecessary reaction?

well, i was just too quick to judge and to imagine the imaginary - take time, think carefully, nothing is as it seems, everything is
illusion and not everyone acts out of malice

do as i say not as i do

2008-10-24T23:45:00.012+02:00

how many times have you seen someone do exactly what the've just told you not to do?

buddhism and zen are about living the truth your way - don't let others tell you how to do it, probably they don't know either or are only passing on the platitudes of their teachers - read, study, sit zazen wherever and whenever, with whoever - read as many different teachers as possible and follow what you feel is right!

“Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine.” - Shunryu Suzuki

“Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” - Wu Li

“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

"Always act with others. Do not put yourself above others by acting differently. Arrogance is not permitted." - Seung Sahn

In original nature
There is no this and that.
The great round mirror
Has no likes or dislikes.

good zen habits

showing off - copping out

2008-10-24T09:01:00.005+02:00

are we only a "good buddhist" a "good christian" a good jew" if we are doing it with other buddhists or christians or jews? we seem to need to prove to everyone else that we are what we are! am i less of a buddhist if i don't go to the dojo to sit zazen? do I need to show off my robes and my prostrations to get the approval of the others around me and to confirm that i am actually a buddhist? do i feel i’m better than the others because i have a new rakusu or kesa?
it seems to me that this is the way our zen buddhist world is structured. “you must go to the dojo” – “you must be with others” – “you must sit zazen with others” – oh really, why?
sure then they give you some platitude about “…it increases the intensity, or “that’s what zen is about”, echoes of “god moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform” – (what a copout) – sorry, i don’t think so!

i wanted to be like them - a reminder of impermanence

2008-10-20T08:12:00.012+02:00

i was watching a video of the great lowell george this morning and thinking how much i had wanted to be like him when i was younger. oh to be able to play guitar like him, sing like him, be up there in front of adoring masses like him.

for a long time he'd played guitar with another idol of my youth frank zappa - what heaven it must have been to be like them - known the world over and playing such fantastic music!

today both of these greats are dead - died way too young both of them - way before either of them could realize all the fabulous things they could have produced for us.

watching lowell this morning brought another example, admittedly not without sadness, that everything is impermanent - even for the greats! even "they" cannot change the universal truth! would i still want to exchange lives? (both of them and many others died younger than i am now) - no absolutely not. the other man's grass isn't always greener - it might look it at the time but...

my way, your way

2008-10-19T21:34:00.009+02:00

today during my tai-chi class i must have broken at least 2 of the grave precepts - the lady in front of me, in her expensive track suit and dripping in jewelry, was doing a simple movement like it was the most important thing in the world and she was the prima ballerina at the bolshoi (maybe it was and maybe she is) - anyway, her intensity translated into vaudeville, and as such, it made me laugh!

well then it struck me - we all interpret things differently don't we? and.. that doesn't mean that one way is right and another wrong (as I was thinking, or at least, as was my initial, visceral reaction)

if we all spent as much time criticising what we do ourselves and not what others do...

Precept*
Not to extol oneself and slander others

Key
Humility

Prohibition
Not competing or coveting

Aspiration
To give my best effort and accept the results

Inspiration
There are no winners or losers

from In Process: A Journal of Spiritual Practice, quoted in Turning Toward Happiness: Conversations with a Zen Teacher and Her Students.

*7. Not Praising Yourself While Abusing Others