a zen buddhist monk's blog about things almost zen and telling it the way it is - zen or not (yet)

October 26, 2009

Family and earthworms

So,... the family is here!

Recently there have been a number of reports about how the 'family unit' was/is an invention of 1950's-marketing from the US and that in reality it doesn't exist - just like Santa Claus! The latter, an incredibly succesful marketing idea of a 'soft-drinks' company is nevertheless, based on some solid history, as, I suspect, is the idea of a family unit.

What I am SURE of, is that this loud, vibrant, intoxicating and all-consuming bunch of people who came to our house this weekend are the most wonderful gift life can give us today. Yes! they have taken over! Yes! we are out of our comfort zone! Yes! in one sitting they will consume more than my wife and I would in a week, and No! I no longer have possesion of the TV remote! But...

The love, the caring, the unconditional acceptance that you are 'one of us', that you 'belong', is, well, just overwhelming! I wouldn't give this up for anything in the world! Buddha renounced his family; his young wife, his new-born son, his doting father and his closest friend, but that was Buddha and we are all better for what he did. Me, I'm still getting the hang of this; I'm still learning about sacrifice and detachment, about living and dying, about letting go. I'm not ready. This may be a failing in my Buddhist advancement; in my journey toward enlightenment, but...and it's a big BUT, as a Boddhisattva, am I not supposed to renounce my own salvation from the endless cycle of suffering until I've helped EVERY single person pass over to the other shore? Yes of course I am, that's what it's about and therefore whether or not I'm a good Buddhist has to take a back seat for the moment; I have some work to do and I could not start in a better place than by observing how this unit we call "family", functions. They love, care, share, confide, comfort, encourage, protect, teach, give, give, and give. "Not mine!" I hear some of you say, and yes, that too is a reality but for now, I'm observing and commenting on my family.

What is it about us that makes us fight and war against each other because of perceived differences? Maybe our "perceptions" have just gotten stronger and stronger over the millenia and in fact we are deepining the need to show we are different rather than trying to improve our understanding that in fact we are all the same. Hate, anger, and jealousy are so much more interesting as emotions aren't they? They "fuel", they "nourish", just like a fast food restaurant does; unfortunately the result on our mental health is also similar! Watch however a group of people that love each other, interact. Watch how they think about the other one first; put their needs on hold until their loved one is "OK". Then, think about it; about how their effort in doing this was just as easy as the effort you expend in hating someone; in fact it's much less, it's liberating, it's the Buddha way! Can't we all just try it for a while? See how it feels? See that we all would be much better off and that laying claim to a piece of soil-and-rocks, that doesn't actually "belong" to any of us anyway, is a useless waste of time and energy; we'll all be under that same soil-and-rocks one day and the earthworm is not discriminating; they'll eat anyone no matter what colour or religion.

If you are priviledged enough to be in a family like mine, please remember that not everyone is and that you could go a long way to help those around you by passing on a little of your joy!


- seiun hosei joza _/|\_

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