a zen buddhist monk's blog about things almost zen and telling it the way it is - zen or not (yet)

January 26, 2010

agreeing disagreeing being being

Watching some YouTube this morning, I did something I haven't done before and read some of the comments under the videos. What astounded me was the diversity of the comments, ranging from "awesome" to "this sucks" and worse. Ecstatically for and fanatically against - the same clip!

What struck me immediately was that no matter how popular someone or something is, there are as many people who will hate it, and hate it with a vehemence! My wife and I are on opposite sides of this fence concerning certain films... Why though, I wonder, if we don't agree with someone's opinion or ideas do we have to resort to insults, shouting, and threats? I guess that's just the way we are. If someone says they agree with us, we feel validated. Our opinion or belief is obviously right/correct because there is someone else who feels the same - very nice, yeah? Buuuut..., what about when someone doesn't agree with us? Well that's when we lose control and even feel the need to hurt; verbally and/or physically.

There will always be people who don't like us, no matter how hard we try to please them - this goes for family, friends, and colleagues as well as people who've never even met us. We can't change them, we can't reason with them, as much as we may try, so the only way to deal with this situation is to accept that we will never please everyone and be happy with the ones we do.

Accept that everyone has the right to their own beliefs and opinions and that if they shout and scream at us it's not personal - Oh! they'll try and make it personal if we continue to disagree and especially if we argue back, but we all have the option to walk away.

晴 雲 法 声 seiun hosei

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